Would you do the same?

Sherlyn KimAuthor/Coach/Social Entrepreneur

Controlling the actions of others is beyond my capacity, but I am able to choose my response. I take a deep breath in the midst of an upsetting situation and think about my options. I choose my response constructive and positive.​

Forgiveness is a choice that I commit to....


I know that I have the power to achieve whatever outcome I want. Once I commit to something, it is easy to accomplish.

Committing to forgiving others makes it a natural response whenever someone offends or hurts me.

Three years ago, I was working with my start up Molly Manners Korea. It begun out of my passion in advocating social skills especially to children. I realized all of these after teaching in one of elementary schools in Seoul.

Because of the demand, I needed to hire an instructor to help me out in attending our classes in our partner schools. In fairness, she was good. I trusted her so much and I felt so relaxed. I had big dreams of working with her throughout the years.

Controlling the actions of others is beyond my capacity, but I am able to choose my response.

After two months of working with me, I received a call from her saying that she has plan to have a start up like mine though it was a different thing from what Molly Manners is doing. She has an outstanding contract with us, so I said, please review your contract before starting anything. And if it is your plan, please send a resignation letter and I asked to please return all the materials that are in her possessions. We had a meeting to talk and discuss about it. She even assured me that it’s a different thing from what we do. So I thought it was ok, and I even said “Oh that’s good, perhaps we could be allies in this advocate”. But I said to please honor your contract before starting out! So I trusted her much that made me confident that she’ll honor and respect the contract that she signed. Until I found out that she started already. She had her business permit and everything.

When my husband who is very dependent on law and regulations when it comes business decisions learned everything, he was so certain to file a suit against her. We even consulted his legal counselor to start off. Because of copyright and intellectual concerns together with the outstanding contract that, the legal counselor was certain that there was a probable cause to file a legal suit.

But it wasn’t my concern. She is a fellow Filipino and I didn’t want to go any further especially to legal proceedings. More than legalities, I was just hurt that of all people it was her. Maybe I’m not prepared enough for that because she has a contract and I didn’t expect it that soon “honestly”. I was less prepared.

Perhaps like any other employer, I just felt betrayed that after learning everything, getting the idea of how the business run without honoring the contract she started the same business as I do in two months!. More than everything I was hurt as a friend.

I take a deep breath in the midst of an upsetting situation and think about my options. I choose to make my responses constructive and positive.

When I’m starting out, I knew the possibility for this scenario to happen. Thus, I have plan to expand it, share the business to more people especially to Filipino teachers, (I have a dream for us to be all entrepreneurs. I’m just waiting for the right time and for the business model to be fully effective and economic. If it’s not too soon and her contract has expired already maybe I wouldn’t feel the same way. I’m sure I’ll be definitely fine.

I encourage my husband to not file a suit. Though I was deeply hurt I assured him that I was ok, it happens in the business, and she’s a “kababayan” and maybe she needs it badly more than I do, so I was able to convince him not to pursue it.

Though many of my mentors, close friends and colleagues were telling me, “It was not proper not even legal, gave her a lesson.” But I chose to heal the wound through meditation and deep prayers. I chose my response to be constructive and positive.

I’m not sure if she’s aware that she hurt me, because at this moment, she didn’t even say sorry. All she knew was what she did was ok and legal. But in fairness to her she sent an email, “thanking me for being an inspiration. She said that she was able to start what she’s doing right now because of me. And she is praying for my success as well.”

Forgiveness allows me to have a clear conscience and a life of little stress.

Holding onto grudges is counterproductive because it eats away at my soul.

Today, I was able to forgive her, but it is doable because I am committed to it I’m in the process of giving her a trust again. We were able to meet in several marketing and networking events. We are civil and professionals. 

Having love at the center of my words and actions makes forgiveness a natural response to our differences.

My family members and I have occasional disagreements, but I always remember to treat them with love. Whenever someone has a negative reaction towards me, I avoid thinking that I am at fault. I am kind to myself, which makes it easier to be kind and forgiving to others. How I treat myself dictates my response to those around me.

How about you? How do you forgive? How do you handle trust issue? Please feel free to write your experience on the comment section below! 

Thank you.:)

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Ensure your SUCCESS: Avoid the mistake of doing just enough!!!

“If you're trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I've had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

Michael Jordan 
NBA Player

Use the idea of overwhelming force to ensure your success. The military often applies this technique. If a situation calls for 1,000 troops, five tanks, and three helicopters, they might send 3,000 troops, 15 tanks, and 10 helicopters. Victory is all but assured.


Think Big, Act Boldly, and Increase Your Confidence

Average thinking and actions lead to average results. They also lead to average levels of confidence. It would be nice to just have confidence without doing anything to deserve feelings of confidence, but that’s a tough trick to pull off. You can take a few simple steps and be the deserving recipient of all the confidence you’ll ever need.

Raise your standards and gain higher levels of confidence:

1. Set your sights higher. Instead of shooting for a new job with a 15% raise, what about a 30% raise? Rather than starting a sideline business and adding $1,000/month to your income, what if your goal was to replace your current income with your sideline business idea?

One of the keys to more success and confidence is raising your standards. Most people never rise above mediocrity because that level of achievement is comfortable. It isn’t too difficult and life is pleasant enough at the level. 

2. Double everything. One way to raise your standards is to double everything. Whether you’re talking about increasing your income, making a certain number of cold calls each week, or approaching strangers in order to work on your social skills, double your first instinct.

Avoid the mistake of doing just enough. Go above and beyond. Don’t be pleasantly surprised by your success. Instead, set big enough goals and do enough to achieve them that you’re shocked if you fail.

3. Use the idea of overwhelming force to ensure your success. The military often applies this technique. If a situation calls for 1,000 troops, five tanks, and three helicopters, they might send 3,000 troops, 15 tanks, and 10 helicopters. Victory is all but assured.

  • If you need to exercise three times each week to reach your weight loss goal, hit the gym five times per week.
  • Do you need to approach 10 potential clients each week to reach your income goal? Approach at least 20 instead.

  • Make it impossible to fail. Put in enough effort that success is practically guaranteed.

4. When you set big goals and take massive action, you feel in control of your life. This type of behavior leads to confidence. Imagine setting a big goal and going above and beyond the activity requirements to ensure that goal is reached. Imagine how good that would feel.

  • What do most people do instead? They make plans to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes, but convince themselves it’s okay to quit after 20 minutes.

  • They make plans to call five potential clients each day, but only call two.

  • They need to lose 50 pounds but settle for losing 20 pounds.

  • This type of behavior is ruinous to your self-esteem and confidence.

5. Enjoy your successes. It’s likely that you’re too hard on yourself. You have every right to rejoice in your triumphs. Doing so will increase the pleasant feelings you associate with big goals, hard work, and success. You’ll be more likely to experience success again in the future.

Small goals, weak effort, and mediocre results won’t result in high levels of self-confidence. You can only expect to feel as confident as the average person. Set your sights higher.

Instead of setting small goals to avoid disappointing yourself, set big goals that give you the chance to be highly successful. Instead of actions and a level of activity that might lead to success, do so much that you can’t fail. The resulting boost of confidence you receive is well-deserved. Enjoy it and then repeat the process.

To your success,

Sherlyn​

PS. How about you? If you have a goal, how do you set your ways or means to achieve it? Please feel free to share your experience on the COMMENT box below. Thank you and I wish you more happiness and success!​

SO  DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE MORE OPPORTUNITIES IN LIFE?

LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHALLENGES INTO OPPORTUNITIES!!! 

Please enter your first and email address below to GET my FREE eBOOK below!!!.

 

Use the idea of overwhelming force to ensure your success. The military often applies this technique. If a situation calls for 1,000 troops, five tanks, and three helicopters, they might send 3,000 troops, 15 tanks, and 10 helicopters. Victory is all but assured."

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Welcome to My Blog

Hi there!

I'm Sherlyn Kim, a working mom, a wife and a mother of three. I help people to build, develop and succeed through their social skills. It is not learned overnight. It needs practice, commitment and passion to achieve.

I am passionate about my goals. My passion drives me forward to live the life of my dreams. I know what I want in life and I set goals to get me there. I know that each goal I achieve brings me in union with what I desire. I feel truly invigorated with each success!

Meeting a goal, no matter how big or small, strengthens my confidence and self-esteem. I enjoy these feelings and strive to receive them as often as possible. Setting and achieving goals is a never-ending circle of positivity that fuels my passion even more. My passion encourages me to persevere over obstacles and it is replenished and increased with every goal I complete.

My passion enables my success. I use tools to ignite and refuel my passion on a daily basis, even when I face challenges that try to smother it.

My tools include affirmations to transform negative thoughts into positive ones, meditation to relax and rejuvenate my energy, notes and pictures to inspire and remind me of my goals and of course the hugs and laughter of family and friends.

Today, I choose to feel inspired by my passions and let the excitement propel me forward to achieve my goals, regardless of any challenges that may arise. Today, I choose to bring value and inspiration to all of you.

To your success,